“ Some of us think holding on can make us strong, but sometimes it is letting go. ”
I often write about finding lightness in every area of your life.
It can come from an unhurried but effective day at work or through uncluttering your home.
Or through learning how to let go and move on in life.
Learning to forget about a relationship, associated with something else in your past, of something that is just an unimportant frenzymadness, desperation, hysteria, mania, insanity, delirium, derangement or of wanting to control what you cannot control can take back huge amounts of the power and the time you have to use for some thing better and more fulfilling.
It is not always simple. But it can be life-changing.
In this post you can find five simple steps that have made it easier for me to let go through the years.
I really hope they will help you as well.
Step 1 : Know the benefits of not letting go.
Why is it sometimes hard to let go of something?
Well, to be honest, there are benefits and benefits not to letting go. A minimum of for instant satisfaction and in the short run.
- You get to keep feeling like you are right. And like the other person is incorrect. And that can be a pleasant feeling and method to look at the situation at hand.
- You can assume the particular victim role. And get interest, support and comfort and ease from other people.
- \ to go out to the scary unknown. You can cling to what you know rather, to what is familiar and safe even if they have now just a desire what you once acquired.
I have not let go of things in the past because of these reasons. I nevertheless sometimes delay letting go of stuff because of those benefits above.
But I am furthermore conscious of the fact that they may be something I get out of not letting go. And I know that in the end they are not worth it.
- What will the long-term effects be in my life basically do not let go?
- How will this affect the next 5 years in my living and the relationships I possess both with other individuals and with myself?
The mix of knowing how individuals benefits will hurt me in the long run along with knowing that there are even larger benefits that I will get from letting go become a powerful motivator that pushes me on to let go for my own sake plus happiness.
Step 2: Accept what is, then release.
When you accept what is, that this has occurred then it becomes simpler to let go.
Because when you’re still struggling in your mind towards what has occurred then you feed that will memory or situation with more energy.
You make what someone mentioned or did even bigger and more powerful in your mind than it might are typically in reality.
By accepting it simply has happened – that you were rejected after a date for example – plus letting it in rather than trying to push it away something unusual happens after a while.
The issue or your memory of the situation becomes much less powerful in your mind. A person don’t feel since upset or depressing about it as you did before. You become less emotionally attached to it.
And thus it becomes easier to release and for you to move on with your life.
Step three: Forgive.
If somebody wrongs you then it will eventually probably cause a person pain for a while.
But after that you have a choice.
You can will not let go of what happened. And instead let it hinder your relationship plus replay what happened over and over in your mind.
Or you can choose to reduce.
Initial accepting what happened is a good idea to make it easier to forgive.
Another thing you can do is not to focus on forgiving because it is “something you’re supposed to do”.
Rather, if you like, find the motivation to forgive for you personally own sake. Get it done for your own well-being, pleasure and for the time you might have left in your life.
Because, as Catherine Ponder says:
“When you hold bitterness toward another, you might be bound to that person or even condition by a good emotional link that is stronger than metal. Forgiveness is the just way to dissolve that link and get free of charge. ”
And that you forgive does not mean that you have to stay passive communicate future.
You may for example choose to forgive but also to invest less time or no amount of time in the future with anyone who has hurt you.
Step four: Focus on what you MAY influence in your life.
By reliving what happened over and over in your mind you aren’t actually changing anything.
Unless you have a time-machine you don’t have any control over the past.
And getting distracted or concerned by things that you cannot control in your life in any way right now doesn’t help.
Therefore ask yourself:
- What CAN We focus my time and energy on instead to really make positive improvement or a change within my life?
- And what is one little step I can consider today to get started with this?
My experience has been that by switching my focus through what I cannot influence to what I actually have influence over and in that way over and over again – by utilizing questions like the ones above – it becomes easier and simpler to stop worrying and to let go of what has happened or the things i cannot control.
Step 5: Let go again (if necessary).
In case you let go of something that happened or some muddiness in your life then that may not be the end from it.
Life is not always that neat. The issue or distraction might pop up again.
Then let it go once more.
I have found that every time I let something go this pops up less and less regularly and it has less power over me.
Plus, this particular extra practice can make it easier to let go in the future. Letting go is something you’ll get better at over time just like for example keeping an optimistic mindset during tough times.